changes......

I am sitting here with the 2 oldest kidlets watching bits and pieces or George Shrinks, while my baby (who is almost not a baby anymore) is having a nap, drinking my coffee that i have honestly reheated 5 times and i seem to have an eerie sense of calm and peace.  Which for me doesn't come around very often.

Things have been very stressful for me lately.  I have had 5 people that are very close to me get diagnosed with cancer in the past few months and its a hard pill to swallow.  We are all young and good people who don't deserve this, but i know that whether you are a good person or not has no bearing on whether or not you get sick, but i think it should.  I really believe in Karma and that what you put out you get back but sometimes i think old Karma has a strange way of working!!

I think the lesson that we all have to learn is how to deal with bad situations and learn from them and not let them destroy you or control you.  I have learned that no matter what, your family and friends are the most important things that you can have and so is being true to yourself.

I'll admit i have not always been the best mom and wife, sometimes i am cranky or i yell over something so stupid and meaningless or i don't get to do something i promised i would do and then i feel awful about it and i am making a conscious effort to STOP, STOP, STOP and live more in the moment with my kids and husband.  So far it feels wonderful.  I have let go of all the bad feelings and the remorse of not being perfect and have become a much better person for it.

And now i am going to go for a refill and enjoy the rest of my carrot cake scone with cream cheese icing (that a dear friend that i see way to little of made) and was brought to me by another great friend.  Then i have to get off the hiney and hang out the clothes.  Have an amazing day everyone!!

Sarah

i am back.........i think!!

Well i am back from my little hiatus.  I had great plans for myself and this blog over the summer, but we had a few wrenches thrown in it, that sort of took me away for a bit.  But now i am back and hopefully better than ever!!

I have been doing some "putting up" thanks to some friends who have sort of lit a fire under me to do the things that make me happy, but more on that later.  Back to the kitchen!!

Have a great day,
Sarah

quiet morning peace.............

With all the hub bub of life it is hard to remember that the simple things are what make us the most happy!!  Like a visit with a great friend, an amazing meal with family, a husband that is to much for words and three wonderful kids.

 A beautiful garden (which the wind has brutalized) and quiet morning peace for me to just have a minute of my own, to collect my thoughts, pay a bill or two, enjoy a wonderful cup of coffee(its ethiopian this morning) and watch the clouds pass, to take a breath which has been hard to do lately because of some added life stressors, but oh well, i think i need to learn how to roll with the punches more and stress out a whole bunch less....

Well i must be off, the tribe is starting to wake up.  Have a great day all and i hope you all get to find a minute or two of peace!!

Sarah

Taking chances

Well i just took a chance, and i am hoping that somebody takes a chance on me(key the take a chance on me song).  I have been home with my three amazing children for a long time and i did something that i told myself i would never do.......i forgot about me, i didn't take any chances on me.  My life became about my kids and my husband and what they needed and believe me i wouldn't change it for anything (i have the best husband and children in the entire world) but now i feel like its time for me to spread my wings and find my place in the family, to find my place in the world doing something that i enjoy.  So please keep your fingers crossed and if you have anything out in the world that you want to do..................TAKE A CHANCE ON YOU!!!!!!!

Now i am taking a chance on a scone from a talented lady whom i am extremely happy to have met.  Goodnight everyone!

Sarah

To market, to market.....

To market, to market and boy am I glad I went!!!!  Our new farmers market location opened this weekend, and all I can say is WOW.  I have always had a love for the building that houses the market now, it's great to actually be able to see inside it, I used to think that it would have made an amazing apartment.

There were so many things to see and experience, Bill and I had the boys with us, as Quynn was gone to swimming lessons, and the place was packed.  We made our way to our usual vendors and stocked up for the week(a few days or hours for some of the products,lol), we got beet greens, prime rib steaks, scones, chocolates and gourmet lettuce miz, then a coffee.  We couldn't get near the creperie(that will be one of the first stops next week) and maybe it was a good thing we couldn't get close, it saved me calories!!

Well I have to say goodnight and go fold some clothes and wait for Sister Wives to come on and maybe have a coconut creme. 

Goodnight All, Sweet Dreams!!!!

awaiting the harvest

Well i am looking out my window and i am actually seeing the SUN....gasp, i almost forgot what it looked like and how it felt on my face!!

Today my husband, myself and our 2 boys took a "road trip" to a wonderful place today.  We went to Natalies house to deliver some 38 plants ranging from tomato plants of various heirloom background to national pickling cucumbers and gypsy peppers.  Wow, what a place, it is a bit of the beaten path(to say the least), it is a property after my own heart and they have chickens.  The chickens made william very happy he tried very hard to catch and hug them, without much success, so he helped to carry plants, played with the garden hose and jumped in a puddle or two.  Honestly what more could a boy want??

While at Natalies we saw all the things they have ready for planting and some things getting ready for picking (the greens looked delish).  It reminded me a bit of my own place, there is always something waiting to be planted, loved, watered then picked and enjoyed.  I have already been planning a few things to do with my tomato harvest......Tomato sauce, i even bought heirloom seeds just for this purpose they are called Mama Leone's, they are a paste tomato that i purchased from Owen Bridge (who is an amazing force, but more on him later).  I would also like to try making ketchup but as processed as it is i am a Heinz girl!!  I would also like to make jams and jellies(blueberry cinnamon and strawberry rhubarb, for sure) enough for my family and close friends and put up some pickles and such.  I have been stockpiling mason jars in all sizes since last year.

I know i won't be making pickles and jams for a few more months, so i guess i will have to bide my time with beet greens, bok choy , pearl lettuce, chard and WEEDS.

Happy planting, weeding and harvesting to all my gardening people out there!!

tomatoes, tomatoes, everywhere!!!

Well my house has been taken over , AGAIN!!!  My green thumb seems to have gotten away from me once again this year.  Every year i say to myself, "Next year i am not going to plant all of these things!"  and guess what happens? Yup i do it all over again. 

It's not just tomatoes either, i do have a surplus of those, i believe i have 18 different varieties(ranging from yellow to black and green with stripes) of heirloom tomatoes in various stages of growth in various rooms of my house.  I also have two different kinds of peppers, a hot and a sweet, i have eggplants, english cukes, pickling cukes, brocolli, cauliflower, brussel sprouts, 3 kinds of pumpkins and 2 varieties of squash all started.  We have peas and garlic out and also have asparagus and strawberry plants to put in the ground as well as beets,chard, cabbages, turnips, 3 kinds of carrots, parsnips, 3 kinds of fingerling potatoes.

I have a pretty decent green thumb, i love, love, love starting seeds!!  I think that i like the simplicity in which you can bring life forth, and that i can plant a little seed and add a little water and provide food for my family and friends and eventually my community if i could ever get my act together, but with the three kids, the heinous weather we have had and having surgery has kind of cramped my plans a bit this season.  I feel as though i have taken 2 steps in the wrong direction for the past few weeks but hopefully the sun will stay out and i can get outside(in my bug suit) and get some things in the ground and in the greenhouse!!

Happy weekend and happy planting!!
sarah

twists and turns

Well the rain has finally let up, i am sure just temporarily and the black flies are out with a vengeance.  I am hoping my pounding headache goes away and i can get my garden planted today(pretty wishful thinking i know). 

I have been at a bit of a standstill lately, frozen almost, i am sure if my life had a theme song, right now it would be Stuck In A Moment by U2.  I have been trying to keep up with all the seedlings i have started and the weather has been hell to deal with , i have almost forgot what the sun looks like, and i have received some horrible news that a very close and true friend of mine has been diagnosed with breast cancer, it has been kind of a slap in the face and i am still digesting it and the fact that life is supposed to go on like nothing ever happened is a hard pill to swallow(but sometimes i can be a glass half empty lady instead of a glass half full one).

So on a more positive note, i am going to try and get a new theme song and i am going to enjoy every single minute of every single day with as many of my family and friends that i can , whether it is raining or shining, because you really never know when your whole life as you know it is going to be challenged by something huge!!

I am wishing everyone an amazing weekend,  i hope you get to do something you enjoy and i am off to take somemore meds for my head and go outside and face the blackflies and think of a new themesong......

strange days

I am finding life a bit strange these days, somewhat overwhelming actually (i am assuming it is sleep deprivation crossed with a whole wack of stress).  Every day i feel like i am always doing and doing and doing and getting nothing done!! All of the laundry doesn't get done, the fridge hasn't gotten cleaned out in lord knows how long (maybe the funk growing under the crisper will be my golden ticket to wealth, health and happiness), there are dust bunnies trying to escape from under the couch , Quynns bedroom is a disaster and don't even get me started on the toy room!!

I always assumed that i would be a supermom, you know the ones that look great, have great kids, a great house and never ever yell or get upset over spilled something or other.  Boy was i wrong, I feel like frumpy mom with kids who never get along, my house is a losing battle and i have been known to yell a bit and i do admit when i do get around to scrubbing my floor and someone comes along and spills something on it i feel like crying.  I feel like time is never on my side, that it is actually working against me .

Oh well i guess these are the lessons that we are supposed to learn in life , that the laundry will never be finished, the toy room will never be clean, the fridge won't be as clean and organized as you may like and the renovations will never be done, but as long as you love the ones you are with and you wake up on the right side of the dirt every morning, then you are doing exactly what you need to be doing and you're exactly where you need to be!!!

garden therapy

Well first of all i would like to apologize for not keeping my blog updated nearly as much as i would like...time just seems to get away from me and lately it has gotten away ALOT. 

This time year is a very difficult time of year for me!  I mean yes i enjoy that fact that spring is here, the buds are out on the trees and that in a few short months i will be harvesting lovely things from my garden, but it makes me very sad that i will be doing without a very special person right beside me or at the least just a phone call away.  This person is my aunt doris, who lost a very long and very couragious battle with cancer, she loved to be in the garden.  She enjoyed the royal burgundy beans and the fresh lettuce and all the work you had to do to get to that point, she loved to get her hands dirty!!

So do i, i love the feel of the damp earth between my fingers, the heat of it after the sun has warmed it up and knowing that from all the seeds that are planted that life will spring forth and feed us for another season .  Being in the garden makes me feel close to her , sometimes when i am out digging i will think of something or see something interesting and think "oh i have to tell aunt doris" and then the sting of reality hits me in the face and for a minute or two i lose her all over again. 

She was a great lady, an amazing lady a force to be reckoned with , to me she was someone who lived by her own rules. I am glad to have known her !!

Long time, no blog!!

Well between sick kids and 4 trips to town this week, I haven't had much time for my blog.  Oh well, in the beginning i was going to try to post once a day but i figured that i would not get a chance to, then i would have another thing to add to my list of "didn't get accomplished".  That list seems to be getting bigger everyday and so does the self loathing.  Don't get me wrong i know that trying to keep a house organized and tidy the way i want with three kids, a cat, wood dirt and working isn't an easy task but i grew up with a mother who was and still is a NEAT FREAK, so i always feel like the way my house is run is not up to par, because i can never get everything done to perfection by the end of the day.  Anyway, enough of that, i want to talk about something else, that i thoroughly am enjoying right  now....my CSA!!(and a lovely cup of coffee that my hubby made me)


CSA  for those who may not know stands for Community Supported Agriculture.  Which is something that i think is VERY important.  It is a shame to me that so many farmers have lost their lifes work because we wanted cheap, conveniant food and now i believe the consequences to our actions are going to be huge!!

Do you know where your food comes from???  I do for the most part, i am sure that the cucumbers that i buy are from some gigantic facility but a canadian one i hope, because i will only buy the ones that say product of canada.  I have even stopped buying fresh asparagus(which my whole family loves) because it comes from Peru, i will cave and get some when the canadian one comes out and only until the roots that i am planting this year are ready to be enjoyed, then i won't have to rely on a store for my food.  That is my long term plan, to not have to rely on a store for my food, i want to rely on myself and other locals for my foods.  I already buy my soap local, my chocolate local, my scones local, my beef, pork, chicken, eggs and milk local, i grow my own veggies and what i don't grow i buy from some amazing people at the local market that have dedicated themselves to this time consuming job of feeding the masses healthy local product and i am grateful to them!!

So on with my CSA.  My family has purchased a full meat and a half fish CSA(There are others available, check out http://www.yffb.ca/, for more info).  So every week at two different locations you can pick up your "basket".  This week I picked ours up at Yarmouth Natural Foods(another fave of mine)and this week our basket contained ocean perch(sometimes called red fish) and haddock, for the fish portion and we recieved ground beef, ground pork, cross rib roast, a half chicken, pork stew meat and a dozen eggs.  All from locally sourced people:)It's great!!!  So check into a CSA it may be for you, or maybe think of where you're food came from the next time you are shopping and at the very least hug a farmer(just kidding, unless you know one personally).

Anyway, enough for today, I have to go clean the tub!!

another saturday......

This morning i was planning on going to town to the "market" to pick up my csa basket(more on that in a bit) and stock up on scones from natalie and chocolate from weez.   Secretly i was hoping it would pour so that my husband couldn't go in the woods to cut firewood.  Well needless to say my wish didn't come true, the sun was glorious, so off to the woods B went after helping load all three kidlets into the van.

You see,  I have a bit of a phobia being out with all three of my kids sometimes!  The age difference between Q and W causes issues because he loves to tease her and she loves to squeel, G is no problem he just smiles at everyone, thank goodness  and he isn't mobile yet, so he is easy to keep an eye on!!  Everyone always tell me that siblings are supposed to act like that but i am not going to lie, the thoughts of them terrorizing each other and pitching public fits kind of makes me cringe!!

So i was running behind as usual, i am usually always a half hour behind schedule(maybe i should change all the clocks in my house) and arrived at the market where my friend was waiting to help me unload the troops and shop for scones, we also used her boyfriend to carry our stuff,lol.  So all in all, my children didn't kill each other or pitch to bad of a public fit and we got to see some wonderful friends, eat some wonderful things and support a wonderful cause and i can't wait to do it again next saturday!!!

seeds, seeds and more seeds!!!!

I like to think that i have a bit of a green thumb, well actually i know i do.  Every year i tell myself and my husband that i will just put in a small garden, enough for us and some family and friends.  But every year the garden plot seems to get larger and larger, sometimes reconfigured but nevertheless a very large piece of food producing meca for one me to handle!!

I am fortunate that where i live is very warm, we are inland about 30 minutes, technically we are a zone 6a, but we get way past that.  This year i am going to experiment with some man-made microclimates and try my hand at eggplants.  I always do carrots, fingerling potatoes, corn, squash, cucumbers, peppers and tomatoes.  Last year we had a huge assortment of heirllom tomatoes, this year we will have 22 different kinds, i have been told that i have a bit of a tomatoe problem,lol, and i will gladly admit that i do.

Anyway folks, i have to plant some peas, have a great day!

spinning my wheels....

well i stayed up to late last night and woke up way to late this morning, and today i had to be somewhere!!!!so now my whole day is running amuck....thank goodness my hubby was home to stay with 2 of the munchkins while i went to town to drop on off at my parents house for some quality time and picked up my friends little boy to tend, then i had to pick up gas for the chainsaw so B could cut some firewood for next year , phew, but i did show some smooth driving skills this morning..i had put my mug of coffee on the roof of the van to put W in his car seat, i buckled him up and got in the van.  I realized as i was backing up and turning the van around that my coffee was not in the cupholder, hmmm, where could it be???awww, its on the roof, so i gently braked (so as not to shatter my mug in the driveway resulting in a grand mess to clean up and the potential for flat tires for months to come) got out and retrieved my mug of ethiopian without spilling a drop, not bad for someone once again in a mad tear to get somewhere!!

my new blog, actually my only blog!

well i have started something that i have wanted to do for a long time but just haven't had the time or taken the chance to do...i have started this blog as somewhat of a chronicle of my crazy life..i hope i do it and my followers justice, bare with me in the next little while, as i get my footing in this blog filled world!!